Bottom 5

My friend Sara posted a blog entitled "Songs that Save my Sanity," that I thoroughly enjoyed.  Everyone has their favorite playlists, the songs that save us from going over the edge, and the songs that inspire us to start our day's off right. Some of us listen to them in the shower and while getting ready, others on the commute into work, and there are even those of us who get to listen to music at work to keep our blood pressure from going through the roof.  There is nothing better than a favorite playlist to get you going.  


There is nothing worse than being stuck listening to a song that drives you absolutely nuts.  I introduce you to my follow up blog: Songs that Slaughter my Sanity.  There's no better way to start this list out than with the infamous:


1. Miley Cyrus.  The first song that came to mind was "The 7 Things I hate About You."  Besides the fact that Miss Cyrus starts this song off the same way as she starts all of her songs off, by sounding like a man, she lists 7 things she hates about some boy toy she is lusting after. Gross.  How old were you when this song was written (not by you?).  All of a sudden the chorus turns into an extreme (excuse my language) cluster fuck of singing and screaming, resulting in that she hates that he makes her love him.  Hey Miley, I'm pretty sure there was a movie about this starring Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger, with 10 things she hated about him.  Way to be original.


2. Bruno Mars, "Marry You."  The first problem I have with this song is how it starts. "It's a beautiful night/ we're looking for something dumb to do/ hey baby/ I think I wanna marry you."  What? The fact that dumb and marry are less than ten words apart is no accident.  You think you wanna marry her? No you don't, Bruno.  Any guy that sings about wanting to marry a girl has got to be insane.  Couples around the world are going to get themselves in trouble or send the wrong messages by singing along with this song, and personally (if you couldn't already tell) I think the premise is stupid.  Get real, Bruno.


3. David Archuletta, "Crush."  For those of you who missed his 15 minutes of fame, David Archuletta came in second to another David on that show no one watches anymore, American Idol.  This song is quite perfect for David, because he is singing about a crush, and I'm pretty sure his first one was on Simon Cowell because he was going through puberty while on the show. Too bad David Archuletta looked like the Hamburgler from Mc.Donalds and had an overprotective father.  Otherwise, he and his crush might have been able to make it big time.  


4. Maroon 5. "Makes me Wonder." Maroon 5 as a whole drives me nutso because I hate Adam Levine's voice.  This song personally drives me nuts because of the guitar baseline.  That is literally all I hear when I listen to this song, and it is enough to put me directly into the insane asylum.  So while this pick may not be able to apply to me, if you ever want me to go crazy, put this on and turn the bass up high.


5. Beyonce, "If I were a Boy."  This song is so bland. It makes my mouth dry and tasteless.  It makes me restelss, it makes me fall asleep but keeps me awake waiting for it to be over.  I just want Beyonce to stop speculating about how much better of a man she could be.  You aren't a man, Beyonce.  You aren't Sasha Fierce either.  You are Beyonce, you are a woman, and you are driving me crazy with this poor excuse of a song. 


This concludes my song hatred, and also concludes my Friday night.  Happy Weekend and listening to all, I hope your iTunes shuffle plays everything you ever wished it too.


Over and out.